


Evil Never Rests

by imbeccacile



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 20:05:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11813262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imbeccacile/pseuds/imbeccacile
Summary: Carl is surprised one morning when he walks into Monogram's office and finds it a mess. Coffee is spilled, papers are strewn, and Monogram is laying in the midst of it all. Evil never rests is what Monogram is always saying, and this time, it's literally. It's up to Carl to take the exhausted Major home.





	Evil Never Rests

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on the episode "Sleepwalk Surprise" because I love their relationship :)

Carl stretched as he entered the OWCA building, getting some last minute cracks out of his system. Of course he’d choose to intern for a company that started work even earlier than when he used to go to class, but at least he enjoyed himself there.

He wouldn’t want to intern anywhere else. Even if that somewhere else offered to pay him.

Pushing open the door, he started down the hall and nodded his quiet but cheery good mornings to some of the animal agents who hadn’t left for their missions yet. They saluted in greeting as he walked by, and he couldn’t help but smile a little. It was oddly satisfying to be respected even when he was just simply an intern.

As he reached the end of the hallway, he turned and stopped in the doorway of the Major’s office. He opened his mouth to say hello, but the sight in front of him made his jaw snap shut.

The desk was scattered with files and papers, making Carl twitch a little at the disorganization. Monogram was usually a very organized person. Two empty cups sat on top of one of the papers, and one half-filled cup lay tipped over next to the other two, coffee staining a few pieces of paper and running down the edge of the desk. Luckily, none of the coffee seemed to have touched the computer, but Monogram was in the midst of it all. He was resting his head in crossed arms on the desk, as if he had been watching the computer. He snored lightly, shoulders moving up and down gently with each breath.

Carl didn’t know what to do. He found himself just standing there, staring for a few moments, unable to think. Monogram never slept on the job, even when he was sick. 

Very slowly, and quietly, he made his way over to the desk. He stood beside the chair where the Major sat, gaze slowly shifting to the computer instead. 

It was video footage. Trained inside Doofenshmirtz’s building. The scientist wasn’t there now, but it was peculiar that Monogram had been watching it. But now that he thought about it...it clicked. When Carl had gathered his things to leave the night before, he had found Monogram still sitting at his desk, telling the intern that Doofenshmirtz was still working and he’d see him in the morning.

He must have stayed up all night watching Doofenshmirtz. It was odd, that the scientist had stayed up so late, but he decided against questioning it for now.

He slowly looked back at his boss, swallowing down whatever fear he might have of being the one to wake him, and took a deep breath. “Uh...sir? It’s time to get up now; Agent P will be here any minute,” he offered quietly, tilting his head slightly. Monogram didn’t even move. “Sir?” He tried a little louder; still nothing. “Major! Time to get up!” he shouted. Monogram sat up abruptly, eyes wide as he looked around in shock.

“Carl?” he looked more confused than anything, like he didn’t remember where he was. The intern cleared his throat and took a step back sheepishly.

“Erm, sir, you...were watching Doofenshmirtz late last night,” he answered, adjusting his glasses nervously, “But Agent P will be here any minute, so…” 

“Oh.” The confusion began to fade, as the Major began to recollect those memories. He glanced around at his desk and sighed heavily. That would be a lot to clean up. “Alright, Carl, let’s uh…” He gestured vaguely to the door, and stood up, very slowly making his way across the room.

Now that the confusion had gone completely, Carl couldn’t help but wince at how...awful Monogram looked. Stubble had poked around his chin, his eyes were bloodshot, and the shadows underneath his eyes seemed to be the darkest that the intern had ever seen on a person. And he was a college student.

By the time they had reached the studio, Agent P was due to arrive in only a few minutes. Carl decided against saying anything to Monogram as he went behind the camera, putting it on. He winced again as the image of his boss appeared on the screen, looking completely disheveled. And then Agent P arrived.

“Ah, Agent P, I...I want to apologize for my appearance; you see, I was up all night monitoring Doofenshmirtz, it seems that…” he trailed off, eyes closing. “Yeah I’ll have cake,” he murmured.

“Sir,” Carl prompted.

“Up all night!” he snapped awake, but still looked very sleepy. “Uh, building inators. See what he’s…” he trailed off again, starting to snore.

“I...think you can go, Agent P,” Carl offered. Once the platypus had left, he shut off the camera and sighed. Well, it was obvious Monogram couldn’t work in this condition. Carl had to get him home...somehow. He didn’t even think it was possible to sleep standing up, and yet here the Major was.

He slowly made his way over to his boss. “Sir?” Monogram snapped awake again, blinking a few times until he found Carl in his vision.

“I apologize,” he mumbled, reaching up to rub his eyes. “Erm, what’s next?” Carl frowned, shaking his head.

“Sir, I think you should go home.”

“But I…” he yawned, “I have to…”

“Sir, you can’t even concentrate. I’ll get whatever it is that you need to get done. I’ll help the animal agents if they need it. You need to go home and rest.” Carl placed a hand on Monogram’s bicep, slowly guiding him toward the door. He could tell now that Monogram was once again fighting to stay conscious. He had mumbled a response, but Carl couldn’t make out what he had said. For all he knew, it was about cake again.

After what felt like forever, they had reached Carl’s car. He opened the door and helped Monogram inside, buckling him in, then shut it. Stepping into the driver’s seat, he glanced over at his boss for a brief moment before pulling out of the parking lot quietly.

As he drove along, he watched Monogram out of the corner of his eye. His eyes kept slipping shut, but each time his chin hit his chest, he would snap back awake again.

“Sir, you can rest for awhile,” he offered gently after a few moments. The Major looked at the boy under half-lidded eyes, but Carl could see gratefulness in the glance. Within seconds Monogram had leaned his head back against the seat and was snoring again. 

Carl smiled a little despite himself. It was odd to see Monogram like this, of course. But despite the situation, it was nice to see him so...relaxed. The intern decided he deserved some time to rest, anyway. He hadn’t had a day off since the time he got sick, and he wasn’t as young as he used to be, of course.

Soon enough he parked in the empty Monogram driveway. Monty was off at school, and Mrs. Monogram must have gone out. Stopping the car, he got out and walked around to the passenger side, opening it quietly. “Sir? We’re here.” Shaking him gently, Carl then reached over and unbuckled him. Monogram opened his eyes slowly, blinking twice.

Wordlessly, Carl helped Monogram out of the car, and up to his doorstep. “Erm, Major? I’m gonna need your key.” Monogram grumbled something under his breath and slowly reached into his pocket, pulling out a ring of keys. Carl rifled through ones labeled “the Academy”, “the Agency”, “the car”, and finally got to “Home.” He fumbled with the lock a little and they stumbled inside.

The stairs took a long time to get up. Carl tried passing the time by talking, though it was mostly him doing the speaking. “Don’t worry, sir, Agent P’ll figure out why Doofenshmirtz was up so late. Hopefully he won’t be doing it again. I mean, if he was staying up all night anyway, he’s probably just as exhausted as you are, right?” You’d think he’d be smarter th-”

“Carl?” Monogram cut him off as they reached the top of the stairs, “shut up.” The intern did as he was told and helped his boss to his bed. As he helped him pull off his shoes, Monogram mumbled something under his breath.

“What was that, sir?” Carl asked, stepping back to let the Major lie down. He grumbled something that sounded a lot like “hank hue”, and then he was snoring again.

Carl smiled the widest he had all week, turning off the lamp by the bed, and moved to leave. He stopped in the doorway, however, and took one last glance at Monogram. “You’re welcome, sir,” he whispered softly, shutting the door behind him.

***  
By the time Carl had returned to headquarters, he had just enough time to clean up the spilled coffee on Monogram’s desk before Agent P had stopped by. The intern found it odd to see the platypus standing in the doorway, looking stoic as ever, but something was slightly off about his expression. 

“Hello, Agent P,” Carl greeted, placing a stack of files back in the filing cabinet. He turned to face him, tilting his head slightly. “What is it?” The platypus walked forward and handed over a piece of paper; his report for the day. Carl read it over, then nodded. It all made sense. “So Doofenshmirtz was sleep walking? That would explain why he was working all night.” He left the paper on the now neat desk, smiling a little. 

Perry gave Carl a questioning look as he pointed at the desk. “Oh, the Major’s doing all right.” Carl guessed that that was what the platypus was trying to ask. “I drove him back home. He should be back to normal tomorrow.” Perry saluted, a small amused grin on his face, and ran off, presumably to go back to his family. Carl grinned and sat in Monogram’s chair, doing whatever he could the rest of the day to make sure he wouldn’t fall behind.

The next day, Monogram would pretend like none of it happened. But Carl was okay with that, because he knew the Major really did appreciate it, even if he didn’t say anything. Plus, Carl could watch the video of the debriefing whenever he wanted to. He especially enjoyed teasing Monogram for falling asleep and muttering about cake. Even he had to admit it was pretty funny.


End file.
